In your benevolence, hear the Rebel’s challenge.
Starring Patrick McKenzie as Arx, the Rebel (he/them)
With additional voices from the season 1 cast
Confirm our suspicions
I Need A Miracle, season 1, episode 12 of 12
Written and created by Matt Boothman
Directed by Robert Valentine
Music by Katharine Seaton
Sound design by Sarah Buchynski
Casting by Fiona Thraille
Recorded at Jukebox Studios
Broadcast assistance from Teresa Milewski
Cover art by Dionysis Livanis
Produced by Sarah Golding of Wireless Theatre for Foggy Outline
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Transcript
Delicate synth and violin music plays; mysterious, calm but slightly haunting.
ANNOUNCER 1:
Foggy Outline presents: I Need A Miracle. Produced by Wireless Theatre.
Confirm our suspicions. Written by Matt Boothman. Performed by Patrick McKenzie.
The music ends.
A murmur of many pleading voices, overlapping indistinguishably.
Out of the murmur, a single voice breaks through.
THE REBEL:
You’re going to want to pay attention to this one.
The murmurs die away.
THE REBEL:
But I wouldn’t want to start this off on the wrong foot.
THE REBEL is in an industrial space, a cathedral of strange machinery.
THE REBEL:
Formalities. In your benevolence, I invite you to listen to what I have to say. After that I’ll give you a choice, the same choice you make every time someone comes begging, in a moment of desperation: either intervene in our world, or don’t.
I wanted to make that clear up front, on the off-chance that some of this ends up sounding a bit like an ultimatum.
I’m going to do my best to put all this in reasonable terms, but I don’t mind admitting this is about some legitimately quite serious grievances, so I won’t apologise for presenting them in strong terms. But when I’ve finished, my tone won’t really matter. We don’t have the power to force you to do anything. All the power is where it’s always been. In your hands.
I’m addressing you today to present a complaint about your decision – making – principles.
I anticipate two possible challenges to that complaint. One: who am I to question you? And two: how can I presume to understand your decision-making principles, in order to question them?
So, number one: I’m nobody special, actually, but I’m not just complaining on my own account. I’m speaking to you as the appointed representative of a global association. People tend to call us the Depths.
I’m going to extend an invitation to you today which has the sanction of every major chapter of the Depths, which means I’m speaking on behalf of a significant percentage of the denizens of this world.
Moving on to number two. Understanding why you act the way you do is half the reason the Depths exist. It’s why the Depths or an organisation like it, was always going to appear. You made us necessary.
I imagine you’re aware of the Depths by now, but you might not have had a formal introduction yet. We’ve done our best not to attract too much of your attention, up to this point.
It started with a question: when will the next Upheaval come?
It’s always in the back of everyone’s mind. How long have we got to live our lives before you rewrite the rules of the world again? How long, to find a place for ourselves, before everything flips on its axis, to indulge some, some wish that manages to engage your sympathies? Do you know what most of the people who appeal to you, in this benevolence, what most of them have in common?
They’re not thinking straight. They’re desperate. Or they’re in the grip of desire, pleading from the heart, not the head. They’re certainly not in any state to think through the consequences for the rest of the world if you happen to grant their wish, which is all very well if all they want is to get back into their home, when the door sticks. But it’s a different story, when someone wants to build their grand folly impossibly tall, or chat with their pet, and suddenly all the rest of us have to deal with talking animals, and different gravity.
At least knowing when the next big Upheaval’s coming, it would make life a bit easier. But it always seemed impossible.
First, we’d have to know what people were going to ask you to do. Then, we’d need to know which way you’d swing. When you’d intervene, and when you wouldn’t. We’d have to know your will. Or … well. It’s probably too much to say we know your will. But I’d say, we’ve figured out enough of your operating principles. It was honestly a relief to confirm, you do seem to have some.
There was this one slightly fatalist school of thought that had you down as a mindless child, making your decisions on a whim, or based on pure chance. In that scenario there’s nothing to be done but try to live with it. There’d be no need for this conversation.
The problem with the rules constantly changing is it’s hard to spot patterns. But we live long lives–
(somewhat mockingly) –in your benevolence–
–and we’re free to spend them pursuing whatever calling we choose. I don’t mind thanking you for that. So a few of us decided: why not? This can be our grand folly. We’ll spend our lives travelling the world, collecting miracles. And so we did. Just a small group of us at first. We split up and travelled, and everyone we met who’d listen, we aksed them if they’d ever petitioned for a miracle, and whether you’d granted it or not. And when people aksed why we wanted to know, we said we were trying to learn your rules, so we could predict the next Upheaval.
Some people were affronted on your behalf. There was some superstitious muttering about augury, but a lot more wanted to know what we found out. It was like … a lot of people hadn’t realised how disaffected they were, especially the elder ones. People who’ve tried it all and settled, found their life’s calling, they just wanted time and peace to work towards whatever that calling was. But time and peace are two things we can’t rely on here–
(with naked scorn) –in your playground.
And it wasn’t ’til we came along and put the idea in their heads that things could be different, that they realised how truly sick of it all they were.
Some of them even wanted to help. The number of us out there travelling the world, collecting miracles, started to grow. And everywhere we all went, we left people behind who were determined to do something, to help themselves and their neighbours weather the storms you’re always visiting on the world. Which is why: “the Depths”. Because we’re like the deepwater currents running strong and steady while the wind whips the surface every which way. We’re the deep bedrock that never cracks, even when the surface shakes. We’re reliable.
THE REBEL is starting to get het up.
THE REBEL:
We have to be reliable. Because you’re – fickle. We have to make sacrifices because you offer everything. We have to remember and plan, because you have no comprehension of our past or future, precedent or consequences, only whatever plea you’re hearing right this second.
He takes a breath and quickly masters themself.
THE REBEL:
The remembering part was the hardest. All those petitions and outcomes. All those miracles and stories. It got to be way too much to pass along in tales and rhymes, the way we do with the rules of wind, sky, wing, and flight. Those of us who’d been there from the start, we were starting to think we’d taken on a bit too much.
There were some who were close to abandoning the whole pursuit. And then some bright soul, not even one of us, completely independently discovered what you can do with votive crystal. The sheer amount you can store in a single shard.
Everything we’ve achieved since, votive crystal made possible; votive – crystal. This stuff developed by your most devoted worshipper, for the invisible tower they said you showed them in a vision. Which is one reason why we have – I at least, have got absolutely nothing against the people reaching out to you, and making all these wishes. Like I’ve said, they’re usually not thinking straight. I don’t expect anyone in that state to exercise good judgement. But we expect better – we have to demand better of you…
(with heavily mocking courtesy) …in your benevolence.
The crystal miracle archive we’ve assembled is genuinely a miracle itself. Thousands of records etched in pure singing crystal. The most complete history of this world there’s ever been, as far as we know – and it only goes back a lifetime; a bit more if you count the second-hand tales passed down from elders. We’ve used it to learn a few things – about you. Some of the others are still a bit high on it. I’m the cautious type. I don’t think it’s sensible to presume that we know for certain what you can – and can’t – do. Or even to presume that there’s any true limit to the power you hold over this world.
But I am good at spotting patterns. And based on the patterns we’ve seen in the miracle archive, I do believe there are things – you won’t do? Even though you probably – could.
For example, you might have noticed I’m taking my time with this, maybe more so than your usual petitioner, because I know that all the thousands of records in the archive, there’s not a single recorded instance of you cutting someone off halfway. You don’t hear everyone, but once you do give someone your attention, you hear them out, to the end. Which is an interesting finding, but not as consequential as the big three.
Do cut me off if any of these are way wide of the mark, won’t you.
Number one.
You don’t harm people directly. Doesn’t matter how passionate the petitioner. You won’t reach down and smite their enemies with divine lightning. That’s not to say none of your miracles have ever caused anyone harm. Plenty of them have. But there’s always a step between the miracle and the harm. A buffer zone of consequence.
Number two. Uou don’t undo things that have happened. You don’t reach back and rewrite the past. Even to prevent enormous suffering. Only the present and the future are the domain of miracles. And number three, big number three.
You…
…prefer not to invalidate individual will. You don’t tamper, with memories, or change minds. I might go so far as to say you regard the mind as inviolable.
I’m especially interested in number three. I believe it’s why a petition to “please get me away from him” will succeed, while a petition to “please stop him wanting to hurt me” or “please make him love me" again” will go unanswered. In this one area, you do actually seem to consider the consequences of a miracle beyond the one who has your ear.
Whereas when deciding to grant a request to raise the sea level, for example, the consequences for the rest of the world and its people don’t seem to figure into your calculus.
When it comes to preserving autonomy, you’re capable of being careful. When it comes to preserving bodily integrity, you are unacceptably – negligent.
You might have noticed that benevolence isn’t one of the patterns we’ve identified.
When you get the chance to look at the big picture – past the gratitude of the individual people you bless with your miracles – at the effects of those miracles on our world at large … it’s inescapable that the benevolence we’ve all learned to appeal to is a sham. It’s a cover for the harm you’re doing to our world, to all of us, every – day.
We think everyone deserves to know that. Because I very much doubt hearing this is going to change your mind … or your nature. You’re all-powerful. You’ll keep on doing whatever you want to do. But the people down here? Their minds can change. They’re changing already. More and more people realising that, what they really want, more than a direct line to the divine, is a bit of peace and stability to plan their lives, and live them. And all they need to do to get it is never to pray to you again.
THE REBEL gives that a moment to sink in.
THE REBEL:
Now that’s an easy thing to promise yourself when you’re calm and rational. Sticking to it, in the grip of desperation or, or want – that’s obviously harder, especially if you still believe that the being you call out to in your hour of need, is on your side. Benevolent. Wants the best for you. So we’re doing our best to help people get there. Trying to be there for people. Show them they can rely on us when the need takes them – instead of you. And further than that, just overall, trying to … reduce the need. People cry out to you because something’s wrong, or something’s missing. They send up the plea to be delivered from their plight. There’s enough of us now – in enough places, with enough connections, that we can slowly, slowly start to provide for people. Give them someone to talk to, just talk about what they’re going through without feeling like they have to present a, a case for deliverance. Someone who listens and actually talks back. We can see what people might be missing and move it into place before they can start feeling the lack too badly. We’re a long way away from it yet. But we’re starting to see the shape of a world where there’s nothing we need to be delivered from.
Is it ungrateful to dream of a world where we never need your intervention? Or is that something you dream of, too?
In your benevolence, hear me out. I’m inviting you to stop us. Neutralise the Depths. Do to us, what we got you to do to the Lectors of Divine Benevolence. Overturn our influence. Disperse our network. You could do it at a stroke, if you change the properties of votive crystal. The miracle archive is our foundation. Without it, we won’t be able to forecast Upheavals, let alone head them off. Or disrupt our communications somehow, leave us fragmented and disordered. Stop us from doing, what we’ve been doing. I know it’s within your power. But if it’s not too offensive to make a prediction in your hearing…
I don’t think you’ll do it. I don’t think you’ll grant me this one. Because of big number three. Because you don’t invalidate individual will. Not if you can help it. And too many people have chosen to put their faith in us.
The Lectors pushed too hard, too fast. They were doing a lot of loud shouting. But I can’t imagine their position in society was essential to anyone’s life, or their worldview or – anything. Outfits like them come and go, rise and fall, all the time. That’s the world you’ve created. No one expects them to last, so no one really invests, so you can break their influence, and hardly affect a soul.
But we’re different. I’m counting on the idea that we’re different. We’ve never shouted. We’ve just listened. We spread slowly. And now we’re bedded deep. We’re part of people’s lives. We’re the ground under their feet, and I don’t think you’ll just liquidate us overnight and let them sink–
(triumphantly) –in your benevolence.
If I’m wrong, if you do accept this invitation, you’ll be showing the world that you’re a spiteful god. That you’d smite a whole movement that’s just trying to help. Because helping – is your job, damn it! And if I’m right, then I’m right. And everyone who already relies on us will know that I was right. Because we told them we were going to do this. And everyone who was maybe thinking about letting us help them with something, will know that I was right, because their friends who already relied on us will tell them. And that world doesn’t have to rely on you. That doesn’t need miracles? That world takes a step closer to being real.
A murmur of indistinguishable voices begins to swell up over THE REBEL’s voice.
THE REBEL:
In your benevolence, I implore you … think about it.
All the voices gradually fade away.
ANNOUNCER 2:
I Need A Miracle is a Foggy Outline podcast produced by Wireless Theatre. Directed by Robert Valentine. Produced by Sarah Golding. Casting by Fiona Thraille. Broadcast assistance by Teresa Milewski. Music by Katharine Seaton. Sound design by Sarah Buchynski. Recorded by Stephen H. at Jukebox Studios. Find more audio gold at wirelesstheatrecompany.co.uk and foggyoutline.com.
Thank you for listening.