Chapter 2 of Camera Obscura, written by Matt Boothman after Samantha Leigh
Day 29
Study CL-HDZ-26 – Submission of form 86d: Notification of changes to study protocol
from: Curzon Labs
FAO: Institutional Review Board
bcc: #rsrch-assts
Section 1: Summary of proposed changes to study protocol
i. Facilitate cross-institutional knowledge-sharing regarding known ‘problem participants’ in all prior and current studies. (essential)
ii. Expedite child safeguarding training for researchers with participant supervision responsibilities. (essential)
iii. Increase minimum number of researchers required to attend participant supervisions from 1 to 2. (desirable)
iv. Diversify study recruitment advertisement locations and methods. (desirable)
v. As far as is reasonably practicable, make potential participants aware of lab facilities (and limitations) at recruitment/screening stage. (nice to have)
Section 2: Anticipated impact of proposed changes
Participation and recruitment: positive impact. Proposal iv.) aims to widen and diversify the study’s recruitment pool while proposals ii.), iii.), and v.) all target attrition (i.e., walk-outs) by ensuring more respectful and predictable interactions between researchers and participants.
Efficiency: positive impact. Proposals ii.) and iii.) are anticipated to ‘oil the gears’ of participant supervision, minimising distraction or interruption while researchers are collecting study data. Combined with the positive recruitment impact detailed immediately above, these proposed changes represent an overall increase in the total volume of data potentially achievable by the study.
Financial: neutral impact. Increases in personnel costs related to proposal iii.) will be offset by reduction in equipment maintenance and replacement costs enabled by proposal i.)
Section 3: Justification for changes to study protocol
All protocol changes proposed in this form 86d relate to the same chain of incidents involving one particular study participant (ID: $OVŒNID).
CL-HDZ-26 Day 20: While tabling outside St. Enid’s, a Curzon Labs research assistant was approached by $OVŒNID, who opened the interaction by showering the table with several hundred printed pull-tabs originating from study recruitment flyers. This retroactively put into context an experience of the research assistant from two days prior, when in the process of pinning one such flyer to the community noticeboard inside the vestibule of St. Enid’s, said individual was acted upon by a then-unidentified force. At that time the purpose of this force was assumed to be the ejection of the research assistant from the premises, with the separation of the entire strip of pull-tabs from the flyer being merely a consequence in the course of that action; it would now appear, however, that $OVŒNID’s objective in deploying this force was in fact simply the acquisition of the pull-tabs.
Despite the obvious setback to study recruitment of $OVŒNID having collected every pull-tab from every flyer posted in a five-kilometre radius, it was decided to capitalise on the subject’s unmistakable enthusiasm to participate in the study. However, $OVŒNID refused to provide an email address or telephone number, instead inscribing the CONTACT DETAILS section of the consent form with the single word BOWL, presumably signifying the fragile earthenware bowl with which the subject then furnished the research assistant. Said assistant was unable to elicit any further contact instructions from $OVŒNID before the subject abruptly departed the environs.
Days 21–22: Research and experimentation into the possible ways the bowl might serve as a medium to reestablish contact with $OVŒNID to arrange study participation.
Day 23: All prior experiments with the bowl having proven inconclusive, and $OVŒNID’s prompt participation in the study being imperative in the temporary absence of other potential subjects, the decision was made to escalate to destructive experimentation, subject to IRB-approved containment procedures. By these methods $OVŒNID was successfully reengaged and (following some negotiation) an appointment scheduled.
Day 24: $OVŒNID presented at the appointed time; not, however, unaccompanied.
The additional individual is not a subject of this study and so has not been assigned a participant ID, but was observed to be similar in most observable aspects to $OVŒNID, albeit a juvenile (i.e., smaller and with only four full rows of teeth). It was explained to $OVŒNID that Curzon Labs is not equipped with childcare facilities. The subject appeared not to grasp the significance of this, clarifying only that the accompanying juvenile was not offspring, but sibling. In order to complete $OVŒNID’s (once again, imperative to the timely continuation of the study) testing, the (single) on-duty research assistant was therefore obliged to manage the presence of a curious and spirited juvenile in addition to the expected participant supervision duties. This was achieved (imperfectly) through the combination of the IRB blood seal of approval with approximately a ream of printer paper to create a rudimentary colouring book (this being reported with gratitude for the anti-forgery measures that make each reproduction of the seal distinct enough to reduce monotony, and with hope that this is not considered an abuse of IRB property, given the circumstances described).
Despite the previous day’s interaction, $OVŒNID appeared to remain enthusiastic to participate in the study, and the accompanying juvenile thus preoccupied, testing was able to commence.
It was at this point, however, that the underlying reasons for $OVŒNID’s enthusiasm to participate – indeed, for the subject’s deliberate and premeditated engineering of circumstances to ensure their own participation – finally became apparent.
At 00:33 hours, the lab computer registered an anomalous reading from the EEG cap that had just been fitted to $OVŒNID.
Immediately after this reading was registered, the subject was observed to expose all ten rows of teeth in an expression associated not with surprise or distress, but with satisfaction, as the rubber and wire of the EEG cap rapidly discharged electrical arcs and melted, fusing with both flesh and bone.
The juvenile was then observed to abandon the makeshift colouring book activity along with the distracting pretence of curiosity and excitability.
$OVŒNID was then observed to utter: “My thanks for the new hat. It really completes my collection. Now, with this, I am finally unstoppable.” (Transcribed from memory.)
Both individuals then departed Curzon Labs in the same abrupt manner as $OVŒNID departed St. Enid’s some days prior.
Days 25–26: Through engagement with current and former staff of this and other labs, it was discovered that similar behaviour – engineering acceptance into studies with the goal of absconding with valuable laboratory equipment – has been observed by participants matching $OVŒNID’s description in six other studies.
Days 27–28: Analysis of the EEG readings registered by the lab system before the cap’s failure appears to promise findings of significant value to study CL-HDZ-26.
Re: FWD: Study CL-HDZ-26 – Submission of form 86d: Notification of changes to study protocol
from: tempclra~767771@curzon-labs.ac.uk
FAO: #rsrch-assts
Blind copying the whole group on this^, just so everyone has an example of how to communicate safely with the IRB. No true names, not even any personal pronouns if you can help it. Don’t provide anything solid their censure could cling to. They’re all over us here at Curzon at the moment, once you’ve attracted their attention even strict adherence to procedure doesn’t seem to deter them! If we get shut down, at least all this form-filling will have been worth it if it keeps them off anyone else’s back long enough to get those results!!
P.S. The real lesson learned from this experience is: if, the first time you cross paths with someone, they fling you through a church door, don’t expect their treatment of you to improve. They’ll just keep knocking you down every chance you give them.
Camera Obscura is an actual play of Outliers, a single-player journalling game by Samantha Leigh, based on The Wretched by Chris Bissette, and published by the Far Horizons Co-Op.
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