Strat (Ariadne Backstage)

Strat fills in his character sheet and threatens to build himself a friend. The company works all the "Persistent Bonus" stuff out of their systems before the game starts.

Created and hosted by Matt (@merelymj)

In association with Blackshaw Theatre Company (www.blackshawonline.com)

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Episode transcript

Matt: Strat, you're the only one left to do filling in your character sheet.

Strat: I'm super excited.

Matt: Shall we do it?

Strat: Yeah.

Matt: Okay, stats first. Mind, Body, Soul: everybody, what are we giving Strat?

Alex: This is intriguing.

Ellie: It’s difficult because I think he's the same as me.

Matt: Uh-huh?

Alex: Yeah.

Vikki: Yeah.

Ellie: With Mind being the strongest.

Matt: That’s acceptable.

Ellie: And then Soul and then Body. Well, though actually, with Strat, it might be...

Vikki: I don’t know, I might swap Body and Soul.

Ellie: Yeah.

Vikki: Because Strat is handy.

Ellie: Yep. And such a rationalist.

Vikki: Yeah. We're more similar in that respect, I think. We’d both be like, “Ghosts? I mean … nah”.

Ellie: Yeah, so I think it maybe would be, Mind would be your top one.

Matt: I did think it would be really interesting for roleplaying purposes to have both Strat and Alex in a supernatural story. Strat is a rationalist and Alex has a more spiritual side. So what does that … sorry, what was… 

Vikki: Body zero…

Strat: Mind one, Body zero, Soul minus one.

Matt: Okay, you happy with that, Strat?

Strat: That's exactly what … if they had gone the other way, I would have probably chosen to swap Body and Soul, so that's perfect.

Matt: Ideal. So nobody's ended up with the same set?

Ellie: No.

Matt: Awesome, that's really good. Okay. So, ability, element and item.

Strat: Yeah… 

Matt: Take them in any order. What do you want?

Strat: I'll start with ability, because that's exciting. So looking at my … I know, yeah, Vikki’s just pointing at “MacGyver something”, which is I think what I was going to… 

Ellie: You’d be really good at that.

Vikki: I was going to say, I just like … if someone was to say to me like, in real life, what’s Strat’s like, roleplaying game skill, I’d be like, build anything out of everything, friends. Like… 

Strat: Can it just be, my ability is “MacGuffin”?

Vikki: MacGuffin!

Matt: MacGuffin is a slightly different thing, isn’t it, for storytelling purposes?

Strat: It’s the thing that… 

Matt: A MacGuffin’s the thing that everybody's trying to get.

Strat: Oh no, sorry, yeah, no, I'm not thinking of a MacGuffin, it’s the other thing, the… 

Matt: Oh, the deus ex… 

Strat: …machina thing, yeah, this was like: I've suddenly found the thing that will solve all our problems, here it is!

Vikki: Oh yeah, deus ex machina. Ex machina.

Matt: Let’s … I’m wary about giving anybody a deus ex machina power… 

Strat: Yeah, that's fair enough.

Matt: …so let’s… 

Strat: We’ll … we’ll stick with MacGyver.

Matt: Okay.

Strat: I'm going to MacGyver the hell out of things.

Matt: Awesome. And so the way that will work is basically, you're … you'll be in a situation and you'll be like, “I want … I need a thing that does X”.

Strat: Right.

Matt: And you'll roll, and if you succeed, you'll have to explain to us how you build a thing that does X out of the stuff that's around you in the room.

Strat: Excellent.

Matt: And if you fail, then something bad will happen.

Strat: Cool. I'm gonna feel like Rick from Rick and Morty.

Alex: Yes!

Vikki: You are Rick from Rick and Morty.

Alex: “I’m Pickle Rick!”

Vikki: Or you’re Rick but not a horrible Rick.

Alex: There is … there was … in one of the episodes there is a nice Rick, isn't there?

Strat: Yeah.

Vikki: Yeah, yeah. Well, there's one where there’s like, where there are thousands of them, where there’s just Ricks and just Mortys, and there are some nice Ricks.

Strat: Right, okay. Elements… 

Matt: They don't do very well with the other Ricks.

Alex: No.

Strat: No, they don’t. They really … they don't survive. Okay. Elements.

Matt: So there are some ones that would apply … like, I might say that some of the ones that apply only in really, really specific circumstances - like, we've got on there like, when you're trying to like, act against something that has hurt you? Obviously there's very limited circumstances where that would work, so I might consider making that like, a plus two rather than a plus one, but … depends whether you want that one or not.

Strat: That's true. Sorry, which one … when facing something that hurt you?

Matt: Yeah. So I think that like, that one probably applies in less … would apply for less of the game than the ones the others have chosen.

Strat: Yeah. When making a leap of faith? That's an interesting one.

Ellie: Especially for you, because that's something you're less likely to do.

Strat: Yeah, these are really tricky, actually. I thought this was gonna be one of the easier ones, but…

Ellie: Yeah, that was the one I found hard.

Matt: So it doesn't have to be something off that list. If you can think of another sort of situation where you feel like you're best off, then we'll work something out around it.

Strat: Yeah. I was thinking … I don't know how to describe, but when like, I can have absolute focus on something.

Matt: Okay.

Strat: So when there's no like… 

Ellie: No distractions.

Vikki: Yeah, when you’re not being distracted.

Strat: Yeah, when I can block out everything else that's happening and like, just focus purely on that task.

Alex: Some sort of like, a meditative sort of state.

Vikki: Being task-orientated.

Matt: Like, one quite simple way we could represent that is if you're not losing it. Like if you haven't lost anything off the losing it quiche.

Strat: Okay… 

Matt: Like you're mentally fully together and you can concentrate. Maybe if we add in like, you can just put in like, “when I can focus” or something like that, and we'll bring the losing it mechanic into that, but I’ll also consider things like whether there's anybody else there, or if there’s stuff going on… 

Ellie: If there’s imminent threats… 

Vikki: Like if Strat was trying to solve a problem but we were busy fighting some kind of threat at the same time… 

Ellie: In the same room.

Vikki: …he would be struggling. But if he could go into another room then maybe that would give him a bonus.

Strat: Okay. So if I can focus.

Matt: Yeah.

Vikki (sings): Persistent bo-nus! Can we make a sting for persistent bonus, please?

(laughter starts to build)

Matt: So like, I'm happy for you guys to like… 

Vikki: I can’t cope.

Ellie: It would be like “Mummy, look at that man’s persistent bonus!”

Alex: I had it to the melody of the Sega theme when you started up the Mega Drive. So it would be like, “Persistent…”

Everyone: “…bo-nus!”

Vikki: I like the idea of like, a “boom chick-a wow-wow” … “Well, isn’t that a persistent bonus?” There are so many. We’ve already come up with three options.

Alex: This is not gonna get old. I mean, for us.

Vikki: But for Matt? And anyone listening? Yes.

Matt: I'll be very happy for any of you like, at any point in the game, to like, make a case that your element applies, even if … if I don't think of it, then like, I’m happy to make that a negotiation.

Ellie: It’s just Strat going, “I can focus, honest!”

Vikki: “I’m so focused right now!”

Strat: So, item.

Matt: Yeah.

Strat: I'm thinking … I've got … there's like, gaffer tape here. I think considering my ability is to MacGyver… 

Matt: I would say gaffer tape would give you a bonus to Macgyvering.

Strat: Yeah, so could I have… 

Matt: But also in other situations.

Strat: …like, the thing when you are rigging, often like, you have the whole thing where you have some electrical tape, some gaffer tape, a few kind of like… 

Vikki: Cable ties.

Strat: …cable ties and everything, on like a little … generally you hang it on a string, and tie that to your trousers.

Matt: Absolutely.

Strat: And have my little … yeah, utility belt.

Matt: Tape and ties.

Strat & Vikki: Tape and ties!

Strat: That’s cool.

Alex: No belt and braces, but… 

Strat: I may need to borrow your knife if I need to cut it.

Vikki: Yeah, that’s going to be okay.

Alex: That’s not a problem, I can share.

Matt: All right, last thing for you to sort out is Trust. So we've been through the scenario a few times, let's find out how you’d deal with it. So you've been dumped.

Strat: Helen!!

Vikki: Goddamnit Helen!

Ellie: So unlikely.

Vikki: So unlikely.

Matt: I hope we'll get Helen and Dave in on future stories… 

Ellie: They’re gonna be so mad.

Matt: …so they can defend themselves. So you're in the unfortunate situation, Helen has dumped you and she is the bad guy, you're not at fault. Who is your emotional support? Who is eating dairy-free ice cream with you on the sofa?

Alex: None of us. None of us eat dairy-free ice cream.

Vikki: I mean no, what would we be doing.

Alex: Why should we have to suffer?

Vikki: Can we bring our own ice cream?

Alex: Do you know what I mean?

Strat: No one! I trust no one!

Matt: Who has considerately brought you dairy-free ice cream while eating dairy-ful ice cream themselves?

Strat: Oh, Ellie.

Vikki: Yeah, me and Alex haven’t bothered. We are those dickheads.

Matt: Ellie is gonna be the one you want talking you down throughout this game. So Ellie, you get Strat plus two, you've got a clean sweep…

Ellie: Yes!!

Matt: …a clean sweep of plus twos.

Strat: Everybody eats ice cream with Ellie.

Vikki: I love that in our minds like, ice cream is totally our by-word for emotional support.

Alex: In many ways it is. In many ways it is.

Matt: Like, we eat it when we're happy as well. We go through so much ice cream on holiday.

Vikki: It’s happened, it’s been known to happen.

Alex: That’s true.

Matt: Okay, and who is dragging Helen on Facebook?

Strat: Oh, that would be Alex.

Alex: I’m a nice guy really!

Vikki: No no no this is the point, though, this is the point. Alex is the best because when a friend of his is hurt, there are no lengths to which he will not go to do damage to like, the person that’s done the hurting. Like, that’s the point. He’s not just … he’s not just like…

Ellie: Alex is just writing “Helen”.

Alex: I was about to write “Helen minus one”. I was like, “She snubbed him, let’s go. Let’s fire up like, fire up Facebook, let’s go, come on.”

Vikki: It’s not even really happened and Alex is ready to go to war for you right now.

Strat: I’d just like to make it known right now that in my Trust box I just have Tilly.

Matt: So this is the final…

Strat: Just putting that down there. Tilly trusts me more than all of you.

Vikki: I’m so sorry.

Matt: So the final step… 

Strat: Not gonna make you nothing.

Matt: The final … the final step in filling out sheets is, you'll all have some names but not others, potentially, in your Trust box. Ellie doesn't, Ellie’s got everybody.

Ellie: I’ve got a clean sweep.

Matt: Alex has got everybody, but Vikki and Strat, you've both got some people that you don't have a score for yet.

Strat (seething): I’ve got quite a few.

Matt: Strat, put down everybody's names and a plus one. Plus one is the basic.

Strat: I'm just gonna write “everyone”.

Matt: Yeah? Well no, put them all separately, because these scores can change.

Vikki: Oh, because they might change. So should I do the same for Strat?

Matt: Yeah, so Strat’s the only one who you’re missing, so Strat gets a plus one.

Alex: If I spite you for some reason, it’ll go down.

Matt: That's possible.

Ellie: Yeah. Although it’s… 

Matt: If you betray him in some manner.

Ellie: I feel like at this stage, the most likely thing is that Strat’s gonna build himself some kind of machine to just fly away and leave us all.

Strat: I’m gonna build myself a friend.

(laughter)

Alex: And then sing Randy Newman to the built friend.

Strat: It’s all right, I’ve got a clean sweep of plus ones. That’s all right.

Matt: Yeah, you’re good. Nobody doesn’t… 

Alex: I’ve got minus ones across the board.

Strat: You have got minus one across the board.

Ellie: No, plus one for Tilly.

Alex: Oh, and plus one for Tilly.

Matt: Yeah, there's nobody you'd be bad at talking down.

Strat: That’s true.

Matt: You’re average at talking everyone down.

Vikki: Average at talking people down? That seems about right.

Alex: “There there”.

Ellie: Put that at the top of your CV.

Vikki: “Distinctly average…”

Strat: Oh, distinctly now?!

Vikki: At talking people down in emotional situations.

Alex: “Remarkably average.”

Matt: That means all your sheets are filled in and you are all ready to play.

Everyone: Yeah! 

End of episode